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What do you do when you get invited to a dinner party? Do you take your own food? Decline the invitation?

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Joined: 01/08/2013

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Andrea's picture
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Joined: 04/15/2013
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I never thought I would dread going to parties like I did when I was first diagnosed with Celiac Disease. It wasn't so bad when I found out about the peanut/tree nut/coconut allergies. But gluten? Gluten is in so many foods, and sometimes it's hidden. In the beginning, just to be safe, I would actually eat a little something before I went to the parties, just in case there wasn't much I could eat, or I wasn't sure about the food. (If I'm not sure about something, I DO NOT eat it). Sometimes I still eat something small before I go, but I've noticed that the parties I have gone to usually have a large variety of foods to choose from, and I always end up eating enough.

The important things I remember and do is eat any vegetables, fruits and cheeses that are out as appetizers. (I do not have dairy allergies, so I have an advantage here). I don't feel bad about "spoiling my dinner" because that's actually what I might want to do. Any other appetizers I usually don't take unless it looks plain and natural. Again, anything questionable is a NO in my book.

As far as dinner goes, you again have to stick with "plain." I never eat anything that has any sauces or gravies on any of the food. Hopefully you are able to have any meats, vegetables or other foods without the sauces. If not, don't take it. There have been times where all I've eaten at dinner were the side dishes such as some vegetables and mashed potatoes, or I found that dinner was not acceptable to me, and I instead just filled my plate with salad. Desserts have always been out for me-- many times they contain gluten and/or nuts. The only desserts that come to my mind that I would eat might be jello, plain ice cream or rice pudding.

If your night left you with a growling tummy, here's where your back up snack comes in-- keep a gluten free granola bar in your purse or in the car for the ride home. You might not have had the best meal of your life, but hopefully you met some new people and had some great conversations.

Of course, to make things even easier for you, you can ask the host/hostess of the party exactly what he or she is preparing and what ingredients are being used. Easier said than done, I know. If the host is a close friend, no problem. If the host is someone you don't really know, reread above ;)

Kimberly's picture
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Joined: 04/16/2013
How I Handle Dinner Parties

Ahhh... the dreaded dinner party! If a friend extends an invitation to me, it is not in my nature to decline, even if it's a "food" event. I was a vegan for 15 years before going gluten-free (I added fish and eggs into my diet recently), so those who know me well have grown to expect my dietary conditions. Some truly amazing people in my life go out of their way to prepare dishes I can eat, but they have to be simple- like salmon with garlic and olive oil simple. This isn't typically the case though, and certainly never expected.

Especially now that I have a son who has to avoid gluten... and casein... and soy... I have grown to be very comfortable with explaining the situation to anyone who may include either one of us. A pretty common conversation between the host/hostess and myself usually includes me asking what I can bring- when I prepare a dish to bring obviously I know it's safe and I think it's a kind gesture. Win, win! There are those who absolutely insist they do all the cooking though, which leads me to explain my dietary restrictions.

I travel nowhere without my cooler. Nowhere. Having a child has trained me to be prepared for any food or beverage need on the go, it's not like we can simply run into any convenience store and buy snacks. I always let my friends know this, and gently explain how I don't want to offend anyone by us eating separate fare. I've actually gotten this down to a science as I always have single-serving safe foods in the freezer. I've learned that talking about it openly is far less awkward than keeping it to myself. It's also usually a fascinating conversation starter for people who don't know me that well.

If I am invited as my boyfriend's date to a dinner party, I'm usually a little more timid if I don't know the person. In this situation, I have him relay the offer of a dish prepared by me. If they decline, he'll usually explain to them not to worry about feeding me due to food intolerances.

All in all, the past few years have gotten much easier with attending events. People in general seem to be more understanding of diversity, at least the people I surround myself with do :)

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Kimberly gf mommy
Lucas's picture
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Joined: 06/23/2013
Re: What do you do when you get invited to a dinner party? ...

Ooh! Good question. It’s a little easier to eat Gluten Free when you’re just off alone, but when you’re in front of people, it’s harder isn’t it? One thing my girlfriend, who is Gluten Intolerant, has been careful of is not telling everyone she has an issue with gluten. Sometimes it’s just easier that way, and doesn’t make anyone feel out of place.

She has this amazing motto, “I can always find something to eat.”

Amazingly, she does.

When invited to a dinner party, she’ll eat what she can. Pick what she can. If she can’t eat it because it’s pasta, she will either beg off politely (if possible) or explain her intolerance if she believes the host won’t be offended. It is difficult, because you don’t want your friends to have the burden of spending extra just for one person. We appreciate the extra cost and care of going gluten free, so we are careful not to impose it on others.

She does always find something to eat. She’ll either dig deeper into the salad, into the side-dishes or the beverages. It helps that she is not a big eater, so many don’t think much of it.

As a tip, though, to other GF members, one thing is to expect not to be able to eat there and plan accordingly. It’s always nice to be surprised when you can eat something! If you can’t, explore the options.

And if it’s totally horrible, there is always that ice cream in the freezer at home as a reward for eating what you were able to! :-P